Weigh In Wednesday: It's Not Wednesday

Hey Friends - it's not Wednesday and this isn't really about weight loss.  This is a long overdue update on two issues that I've talked about on the blog: my weight and my job.

TL&DR: my weight loss plans are off the table for now, my job misery has gone to a new low, and I started therapy today.

Weight loss

Remember my grand plan to slowly and subtly tackle those pesky extra pounds?

The same "it's just math" approach that worked so well in January resulted in a loss of 0.0 pounds for February.  My guess is that the first half of the month I naturally stalled out and after that work became a zoo and I just didn't care anymore.

I put a little extra care into tracking my food intake for a few more weeks and then gave it up.  In theory "what gets measured gets achieved" but when it doesn't it's time to stop measuring.  I've moved on to Plan B, which is to accept my weight until I'm ready to do something about it.  I have no clue whether I've gained, lost, or stayed the same since then.

On a related note, I met my other objective of getting rid of most of my clothes that don't fit and I'm working on adding new threads into the mix.

I don't know who needs to hear this, but I got the most bang for my wardrobe buck and for feeling good about my body by replacing my bras.  I'm the same size, but the ones that I had were past their prime and not doing what they needed to be doing anymore.  I used to replace them annually and I kind of let that go by the wayside during the pandemic.  I solemnly swear never to let another bra have a birthday (or at least not a second birthday).  Sports bras are a different story and I've got a few that must be well into grade school by now and are still going strong.

Werk

I haven't updated the bloggo since my "a voice in my head told me to update my resume so I did and then the company announced that they weren't doing raises this year" musings in mid February.   For the longest time nothing happened.  It's true that job openings are down but they aren't zero.  Until last week my status was "applied to a few things and got two (2) calls back that ended with all sides saying "no thanks" in the initial recruiter call.

This week I finally got a fish tugging on my line and it seems to like the bait.  From what I've seen so far, this fish might be worth reeling in but it's too soon to tell.  I need to write up my thoughts on Good Fish Co and lay out what they've got vs what I'm looking for and I'll most likely share that on the bloggo in the next few days.

Keeping in mind that there's nothing wrong with my job except that it isn't a good fit==>work has been making me super miserable.  The last half of February and most of March were really bad, and April was at least back to "blah" territory but still not great.  In a perfect world I should be able to contain it to "8:00 to noon" and then "1:00 to 5:00" and enjoy the rest of my life, but I haven't been able to do that.

Where this is all leading

I have not been living my best life since my job transition in 2021.  While I think that lot of my problems would go away if I was happy in my job, it's just a fact that there's no guarantee that (1) I'll get another job anytime soon and (2) even if I do that it will be the wonderful work utopia that I'm dreaming of.  I need to figure out:

• Why work is such a huge part of my identity, especially since I think that corporate world is one heaping pile of bull.
  
• How to be happy when work isn't going well.
• What is blocking me from achieving simple goals, such as wanting to lose one pound a month.
• A handful of "not for the blog" issues.

A fair summary of the last two years is that I feel stuck and that I'm putting a lot of effort into going nowhere.  If I could figure these things out on my own I would have done it by now.  The voices in my head told me that when people get in this state, there's this thing called therapy.  I've never done it before so why not?

To find a therapist, I lurked on my town's Facebook page.  People ask for every recommendation under the sun on there, including therapy so there was a lot of information to dig into.  One practice in particular that's very close to my house was highly recommended.

Next I decided to stick it to the man.  As someone who works in an HR-adjacent role, I've heard about this thing called an EAP (Employee Assistance Program) so I decided to check it out.  Mine covers three therapy sessions, but how many hoops was I going to have to jump through to get them?

No hoops and no strings attached.  The practice that I was interested in had a blurb about EAPs on their website.  I went onto my work benefits site and clicked a button to get to our EAP.  I wrote on the submission form that I needed therapy for work stress and asked to be referred to the practice that I had picked out.  It took a few days of emails with the EAP - the practice didn't have any patient openings until now and this was at the end of March, so the EAP tried to steer me toward someone with earlier availability.  Their choice was a half hour away which meant that every session would have been a minimum of two hours away from work - that's fine for the initial three sessions but won't work out if I decide to stay in therapy long term.  I asked them they would give me a referral to the practice that I wanted and I would just wait it out.  They said yes and gave me a referral code.  I called the practice, gave them the code, and scheduled three sessions for May.

Things about the EAP

• I can't say enough about how easy they were to work with.
  
• I looked into how much information the EAP shares with employers.  From what Google tells me the only time that an EAP will report back is if it's the employer who sent you there - for example if you have an anger problem or drug use and your employer makes getting help a condition of your employment, they're allowed to check in on how you're doing.  Otherwise it's none of their business.  Hey, if anyone reading this knows differently, please leave a comment and let us know the scoop.
  
• An EAP isn't just for you and it isn't just for traditional counseling.  I can get services for anyone in my family in a variety of areas, including financial counseling (just saying anyone who's fallen victim to the mass tech layoffs), child and elder care, scholarships, and retirement planning.
  

Today was the day

This morning I met with my therapist for the first time.  I only picked the practice and not the therapist, but I like her.  It was a very pleasant hour of just talking to someone.  I scheduled more appointments for the summer.  It's not a regular time slot, so sometimes I'll see her once a week, sometimes it will be two weeks between appointments.

That's all there is to say for right now.  I'll let y'all know how things work out at some point.