Tales of the Sheprador

 

The biggest criticism that I have of blogs in general and mine in particular is that there is not nearly enough dog content.  Today I am here to do something about that.

ICYMI Stepdog passed away in November after a mercifully brief battle with cancer.  When I wrote about it I said that I would come back later and tell the story of everything that came before.  This is the promised happy post about this wonderful dog's long and healthy life.  

Her backstory.  How she went from being my husband's ex-wife's dog to my stepdog.  What she meant to each member of the family.  A Day in the Life Pre-Pandemic Edition and a Day in the Life Pandemic and Beyond Edition.  Her many nicknames.  A bunch of random dog stories, lots of pictures, and some Sheprador Poetry.  Her Dog Ambassadorship which led to many of our friends and family adopting dogs. 

Haven't You Written About Your Dog Before?

Why yes I have.  It's funny how when you write a blog about food, fitness, TV, and books how much you end up writing about your dog.  Her first appearance on the blog was back in Christmas 2017.

She got her own post for National Dogs Day in 2020: 7 Things About a Sheprador. 

What Kind of a Dog is That?

According to family legend, Stepdog's mom was a German Shepherd and her dad was a Black Lab.  This kind of dog is called a Sheprador.  We don't know if she came from a breeder or if it was a casual meetup, but the result was a Very Good Girl who was born on Easter in 2012.  We were told that she went to a fancy dog training school which we believe because she was exceptionally well behaved.  She was friendly but dignified.  She was never too serious and never too silly.  She always let you know where her boundaries were which made her so great with kids.  She was very affectionate but not overly cuddly so anytime that she would cuddle with us we took a picture, and it turns out that we have a lot of pictures like this:

She never jumped on people, never tried to eat food that was on the table, never destroyed anything, and never had an obnoxious behavior in her life.  The "worst" thing that she would ever do was to look longingly at someone when they had food that was lower than standard table level, such as on their laps at one of our family parties.  She ate some macaroni and cheese out of an unattended trash can once just to see what it was like.  That's the full list of the Transgressions of Stepdog.

Personality wise, there are alpha dogs who lead and there are back-of-the-pack dogs who bring up the rear and protect.  In the middle are the peacemaker dogs who check in with everyone to see how things are going and to make sure that everyone is on the same page.  This was Stepdog.  If anyone got out of line, such as the boys fighting or rabble rousing, she would remind them of the Golden Rule: Be Like the Pup.

Stepdog's Backstory

Stepdog's first home was shared with a cat, and she absorbed a bit of cat attitude: she always went for the sunny spot and she could go from total relaxation to pouncing on a squirrel within a fraction of a second. 

Her O.G. owner ended up traveling a lot for work.  In a way this was great for Stepdog, since she got to go to doggy daycare and doggy babysitters, so she became very social.  But it was time consuming and expensive to line up the care and the O.G. owner felt that she wasn't doing right by the dog and wondered if she should find another home for her.  She happened to say that out loud to a coworker, who responded, "My boys would love to get a dog".

The coworker, better known on the blog as my stepsons' mom, took the boys to meet Stepdog.  It was about two years after the divorce and the boys were seven and nine and Stepdog was two.  It was love at first sight on all sides.  The only problem was that the boys missed the dog when they went to their dad's house.  The boys' mom suggested that maybe the dog could go to their dad's house with them.

Dogs and Divorce

Their dad, better known on the blog as Hubs, had always wanted a dog also but he was at a place in his life where he was maxed out.  He was classic Sandwich Generation: the boys were young and a handful, he spent a lot of time caring for his elderly parents, and in his spare time he had a job and a lady friend who lived on Birchwood Street. And besides, who wants to share a dog with their ex-wife.  Hubs just didn't have room for anything else in his life.

Christmas 2014 changed all of that.  The boys' mom was going out of town for the last week of the year and was trying to find a dogsitter.  Hubs was going to take off work and stay home with the boys so he said sure, bring the dog.  The rest is history.  Hubs got to see the boys and the dog up close in a way that he hadn't before, and found that he liked having her around.  One day they left the house to run errands and when they came back a few hours later Stepdog had taken one of my husband's shirts out of the laundry basket and was snuggled up with it.  That's how Stepdog went from being "her" dog to "our" dog.

Here are a few of the million pictures that I have of Stepdog snuggled up with Hubs's clothes.  She would sometimes take naps with the boys' clothes but never with mine due to lack of opportunity.  I'm no fun and I never leave clothes lying out and I keep my hamper in my closet.  She had a thing for my slippers though, and anytime that I left them unattended she would carry them off and snuggle with them.

In the beginning the co-dog relationship was very strict and followed the 50-50 custody arrangement.  Stepdog was my husband's ex-wife's dog and only came to our house when the boys were there.  Over time things shifted.  On weekends the two boys and one dog didn't always end up in the same house and anytime that someone went out of town the dog went to the other house.  I don't know how things happen in other co-parenting houses, but eventually the boys started staying at our house during the school week because it was easier for everyone.  Where the boys went the dog went so that's how Stepdog came to spend most of her time with us.

Family Relations

As far as Stepdog was concerned, she was the boys' mother and they were her pups.  Their mom wasn't going to tell her any different.  For her the sun rose and set by those boys and they adored her like nobody's business.  In the early days I think that they really liked that there was a third party who went with them between the two houses.

When it came to my husband tho...in her eyes he was the Big Dog.  It's not too strong to say that she imprinted on him and claimed him for her own.  On his side, of course he was smitten with her.  He adored her in her own right, and loved her for what she meant to the boys.  On our family dog walks he would compare her excellent behavior to the rowdy boys and would joke "I've got the leash on the wrong one".  He formulated the theory that having a dog is the same as having a kid except that a dog does everything that you say.

Stepdog and I first bonded over our shared hobby.  I'm a big fan of taking walks and she was an even bigger fan of taking walks.  Hubs was no slouch in the dog walking department, but I was a source of "bonus weekend walks". 

Our second bond as I went from someone who spent a lot of time at the house to someone who was living there is that we were "the girls" in a house full of boys.  She was my girl and we were tight.  The other thing that she liked about me is that I cooked and sometimes I had extra chicken or a piece of steak that I needed help with.  This was a familiar sight in the kitchen.

A Day in the Life - Pre Pandemic

Back in the day, I was always the first to get up in our house.  Stepdog would get up with me and come downstairs where she would take a minute to look out the front window and would then stand guard in the front hallway.  After a bit she would start her first nap of the day on the couch.

Once Hubs and the boys got up she would hang out and have breakfast with them, being sure to stay on alert for rouge cheerios landing on the kitchen floor.  Every once in a while she would want to go outside before it was time for the bus, but for the most part she held out for Bus Walk.  If she felt that we were dragging our feet, she would shepherd us to the door - and by us, I mean the adults.  She knew it was more effective to lead the adults than to try to get the kids to move faster.

We would all go outside as a family to get the bus at the end of the street.  The family walk to catch the bus endured until the boys stopped taking the bus at the end of the 2023 school year.  Of course the boys had long since aged out of needing to be taken to their bus, but Stepdog was not having any "I'm too old for that" talk so the Bus Walks continued.  If the boys were in a mood they would walk ahead to make it clear that they weren't with us, but for the most part they put up with the escort.

Then it was time for the adults to go to work.  Hubs always left before I did, and each morning without fail as soon as he left Stepdog would climb into our bed.  Her Bed Ethics were always a mystery to us - she was allowed full access to the bed except at night when we were sleeping, but she never got in the bed during the day unless Hubs was out of the house.

Here is the text that Hubs would get nearly every day after he left.  And yes that's his side of the bed.

Shortly after Hubs left I would get on the road myself, and Stepdog was home alone until the kids got home.  The next big event of her day was when Hubs arrived, and then the countdown was on for me.  This is the near daily text that Hubs would send in answer to my "Stepdog in bed" picture.

Once I got home Stepdog would allow us a reasonable amount of time for dinner before she would start dropping hints that it was time for the Magic Word.  And sure enough, someone's lips would open and say "Walk?"  We always stated it as a question to be polite, but the answer was a foregone conclusion.

Originally evening walks were full family affairs.  Usually each boy would claim an adult for exclusive attention and discuss matters of the day.  Then the boys figured out that they could bring their books and get some extra reading time.  Eventually the boys faded out of the walks, so it was just the adults and the dog.  But occasionally they'd surprise us and want to come along.

After walkies it was time for another magic word.  "Treat?" was always asked and always affirmed.  We'd go to the kitchen and Stepdog would do a trick to get her Greenie.  The tricks were simple: speak, sit, or a paw shake.  For the most part she would humor us, but some nights she would do all three responses before we could ask.  Once the Greenie was in her jaws, she'd take it to the living room and find a quiet spot to be alone with her treat.

She'd spend the evening hanging out with whoever was home and downstairs.  When the boys were young Hubs would take them upstairs at bedtime and I would stay downstairs for as long as I thought there were likely to be naked people running around upstairs.  She would stay with me until I went up.  I'd pause at the bottom of the stairs and give the warning, "Girls are coming up!", which Hubs likened to when his sisters were in college and every time that he went to their dorms to visit someone would yell "Man on the floor!".  I'd wait for the all clear and then she and I would go to our room.  She'd get in bed to start her pre-bed nap while I took a shower, and then I'd bundle up with her and read.  Hubs would either already be there or would join us later.

Once her pre-bed nap was over she would get out of our bed and go to hers.  Her bed was originally in the hall between the boys' rooms but after they started going to bed later than us her bed moved into our room.  If we went to bed before her pre-bed nap ended, Hubs would say, "Bed" and she would jump down...well she jumped down but sometimes she would make it known that she hadn't finished her pre-bed nap yet but she would move to her bed to humor Hubs.

On weekends there was no bus but there was bacon.  Hubs usually makes waffles and bacon on Saturday mornings and once he took the bacon out of the refrigerator Stepdog was on high alert.  If she didn't get bacon then there was usually a hamburger at night.  Any day that I was not at work I would take her for a bonus walk during the day.  And that was the pre-pandemic life of Stepdog.

A Day in the Life - March 13, 2020 and After

Hands down the pandemic was the best thing that ever happened to Stepdog.  The rest of the family was home with her!  And I did say that any day that I was not at the office she got a bonus walk - now that was everyday!

With the weekday commute out of our lives, we all started sleeping in a bit but I was still the first one up.  At some point she stopped getting up with me and started sleeping in until Hubs got up. 

When in person school started again in the fall, her Bus Walks came back.  It's worth noting that when school was virtual I would offer to go out with her in the mornings after my runs but she wasn't interested.  No boys and no bus meant no Bus Walk. 

After breakfast she would snuggle on the couch with Hubs until his work day started.  Then she would go up with him to his office.  Hubs and I learned quickly that we can do everything in life together except share an office, so he set up shop in "the attic" - an upstairs room that's over the garage.  There are no HVAC vents and it's not well insulated so he got a heater and an AC unit and kept the door closed.  Sometimes she would stay with him for the entire morning, but usually either he or she would take breaks to check in with me.

Hubs always brought her bed into the office and sometimes she would use it, but for the most part his space was personal to her and she liked to curl up at his feet.  Exhibit A with Hubs's feet propped up by her head:

As it got closer to noon her focus would switch from Hubs to me.  She was very diligent about making sure that I went down to lunch in a timely manner.  As with dinner, she would allow us reasonable time to eat but she kept her ears alert for the Magic Word.  The first order of business was the lunchtime selfie, which we usually took on the front porch unless it was too cold, and then I'd say the Magic Word and she and I would go out on the town while Hubs went back to work.  At first there was no treat after the lunch walk, but then our vet prescribed a glucosamine chondroitin supplement so that became her post-lunch walk treat.  We called it "candy".

After candy it was time for her afternoon nap, which she would usually take in my office.  As evidence I present the famous "Sun Butt" picture.

Pre-pandemic "my" office was the house office and the white rug was a trick that Hubs used to try to keep her from getting too close to his chair.  We called it "fly paper" and joked that we'd caught a really sweet fly.  Her spot was visible from my work camera, and Stepdog got many compliments from coworkers on Zoom over the years.

There is no carpet and my desk is smaller so Stepdog hardly ever curled up at my feet.  She did it once for bragging rights.

She'd hang out with me until it was time for the boys to come home, and then she'd move downstairs to be in place and waiting for them.  At some point in the afternoon she and I would go out to get the mail, and when the weather was nice we would take breaks to hang out in the backyard together.

Her dinner and nighttime routines were the same as pre-pandemic but in the last year of her life there was an addition.  She had a touchy belly so we didn't give her a lot of treats, but on a whim Hubs got her a special kind of dog food that had a jerky-like consistency.  Her glucosamine was "candy", her Greenies were "treats", and this new thing needed a name.  We called it Treat-O.  Treat-O-O'Clock was at night before we went upstairs, and she would always let us know.  Everyone who was around would grab a couple of Treat-Os and gave them to her in their own style.  Stepson #1 would have her earn them with tricks, Stepson #2 would just hand them over, and the adults alternated between tricks and "guess which hand has the Treat-O?"

This is from a night when I was alone and the text that I sent to Hubs was "I'm not wearing a watch but I know what time it is."

The Apex Predator

One of the many roles that Stepdog assumed was that of Chief Home Defense Specialist.  Her motto was that the best defense was a good offense.

She kept watch over the backyard and made sure that everyone toed the line.  She got along well with our neighbor's indoor cat when we went to their house, but a Stranger Cat in our yard was Not OK.

When she was younger she let us know anytime that a squirrel came into the yard, but as she got older she seemed to mellow toward some but not all of them.  We joked that she was running a protection racket and the ones who were paid up were OK.  

Chipmunks were never OK, and she reduced their population by at least two that we are aware of.  Her Ultimate Enemy was the rabbit, and anytime that we were on a walk and she saw one before we saw it, our lives would flash before our eyes as she raced in pursuit and took us with her.

We didn't need Amazon to tell us when our packages were delivered.

 

What's in a Name

You will be glad to know that Stepdog's name was not "Stepdog".  For blogging purposes I call my stepsons Stepson #1 and Stepson #2 so what other blog name would their dog have besides Stepdog?  Her non-blog name was absolutely lovely and I would tell you what it was except that I think it would be like when Sex and the City told us Mr. Big's name and it might or might not be the security answer to "what was the name of your first pet" for two members of the household.

However she was a girl of many of nicknames:

• Ms. Pup
• The Pup
• House Wolf
• Ladybug
• Baby
• Click-Click (for the sound of her nails clicking on the floor as she walked)
• Clickety-Boo (a play on tickety-boo)

The Controversial Nicknames of Stepdog

One of the boys' babysitters called Stepdog "Nugget".  Exhibit A:

The boys and I thought that Nugget was a delightful name but for some reason Hubs hated it.  He suggested S'more as an alternative: because she had a tan back, a soft white belly, and a chocolate face and ears.  Just like a well toasted marshmallow.

The second Controversial Nickname of Stepdog was one that I came up with: Babycakes.  Stepson #2 was not a fan of this name.  To understand why, you need to understand our Birthday Cake Conventions.  I make an ice cream cake for the boys' birthdays, and there are always enough leftover ingredients to make two smaller cakes, which we call...wait for it...baby cakes.  The big cake is for their official birthday parties, and the baby cakes are treats for after the big cake is gone, so they're like the gift that keeps on giving.

Stepson #2 did not care for me calling the dog something that we eat, to which I say that he never minded us calling her Nugget or S'more.  What can I say, she was my sweet, sweet Babycakes.

Tell Me That You've Never Done This

The next name controversy that we have to talk about is that Hubs and I sometimes called each other by Stepdog's nicknames.  I grew up with cats, and my name was a bit of a mouthful for the kids when they were young, and it shortens nicely to "Kat".  I came into the boys' lives about the same time that Stepdog did, so the joke was that she was the dog and I was the cat.  Hubs calls me Kat and sometimes Ms Kat, and every once in a while he got that mixed up with Pup and Ms Pup - we'd be whispering sweet nothings and he'd call me Ms Pup, or he'd be snuggled up with the dog and call her Ms Kat.  I always took it as a compliment.

I never intended to call him by the dog's nicknames but it's something that started very innocently.  We saw Double Indemnity for the first time as a couple early in Stepdog's residence with us.  In the movie the guy calls the girl "Baby" and after that I started calling him "Baby" with a tough noir edge.  I naturally called Stepdog "Baby" because she was cute but I said it with a completely different tone.

There was a time when on Saturday mornings I would go out for a run and Hubs would go to a martial arts class.  Usually but not always I would get back before him, and there was no way for me to see if his car was in the garage so I wouldn't know either way.  I would open the front door and find the dog in the front hall waiting for me and I would say "hey Baby!" in the tone of voice that you use to say "hey Baby" to your dog only to be surprised by my husband sitting around the corner in the living room answering back "hey Baby!" in the tone of voice that you use to say "hey Baby" to your spouse.

I may or may not have started calling my husband Babycakes every once in a while but a blog is not the place to discuss that.

Sheprador Poetry

I'm not a poet and I know it.  However I would like to tell you that:

When you have a sweet, sweet Sheprador, you never want anything more.

And:

When you have a sweet, sweet Sheprador, you never have to clean the kitchen floor.

Dog Ambassadorship or "Mom can we get a dog?"

Stepdog was a firm believer that everyone needs a dog.  She made the case to everyone that she met that dogs are friendly, well behaved, obedient, and have endless love to lavish upon you.  When we got her only one of my SILs and one of our neighbors had a dog.  Over time my two in-town SILs also got dogs, and our next door and backyard neighbors got dogs, as did a family on the next street who we didn't really know except that their kids always went nuts when Stepdog would pass their house on walks.  One of our nieces later confirmed that every time they came to our house they would beg their parents for a dog and it finally worked.

When we were out on walks kids would go nuts over Stepdog and would ask to pet her.  She loved the attention, and I would play a little game where I would predict how many seconds would elapse before the kid would say "Mom, can we get a dog?".

We used to joke though that everyone who got a dog because of Stepdog really wanted Stepdog but they couldn't have Stepdog.  Their dogs were perfectly nice, but they weren't Stepdog.

Now the joke is on us because we cannot have Stepdog either.  Neither Hubs nor I had a dog before Stepdog, and because of Stepdog we will never not have a dog.  Right now our status is "between dogs" and some day that is not today but is hopefully not too far from now Future Dog will come along and adopt us.

The Ambassador served her post well.